"The holidays are coming": why financial expenses cause stress and how to avoid it

Before the New Year, money disappears faster than the festive mood appears. You want everything at once: gifts, comfort, "to be on top." Advertising and social media only add fuel to the fire. As a result, instead of joy, there is tension and anxiety.Together with psychologist, PhD, associate professor Oksana Zinko LIGA.net It explains why this happens and how to avoid financial stress before the holidays.Why the period before the New Year intensifies financial stressFirst of all, the pre-holiday period combines real financial costs – gifts, trips, festive meals, preparations – with powerful psychological pressure from expectations of oneself and from the environment, says Oksana Zinko:– There's an unspoken feeling that you need to celebrate New Year's in a new dress, with expensive gifts, a new tablecloth – and all of this automatically increases expenses. Added to this is advertising for the "perfect holiday," which seems to push you to update everything around you, as well as the constant comparison of yourself to others. Someone else's celebration looks "better," and the desire arises to catch up, to reach, to conform.As a result, a feeling is formed that more is needed than is actually necessary. This unconscious way of interacting with pre-holiday expenses creates mixed stress – about money, about responsibility, and above all, about conforming to the social scenario of the holiday: what should be on the table, what everyone should be wearing, what gifts are "correct," and so on.Therefore, it's important to create your own holiday scenarios – according to your capabilities, desires, and actual comfort level, rather than imposed expectations.Warning signs: how to know when your expenses are exceeding your comfort zoneThere are several warning signs that can help you understand when expenses are exceeding both your financial and psychological comfort levels, explains the psychologist.The first sign is impulsive purchases that don't bring joy. "I'll buy it because everyone else is buying it."The second is avoiding checking the balance or accounts. When there is no control, when expenses go "to the last penny," without realizing how much is being spent and on what.The next signal is thoughts in the format of "I must" rather than "I want." "I have to do this because we do it every year," "I have to because everyone else does."For a conscious adult, the indicator is "I want" and not the internal compulsion "I must."Another warning sign is the feeling of guilt after spending. It doesn't matter if it's a big purchase or a small one, but the thought arises: "Why did I buy this?"It is also worth paying attention to the internal tension before each purchase and the general discomfort associated with shopping.A healthy relationship with finances is when purchases don't drain your energy.If the expenses start to drain your resources and cause tension, it's no longer about the holiday – it's about stress. And Ukrainians already have enough stress today, even without the holidays.Why do we often spend more on holidays?– First and foremost, given today's realities, I would prioritize emotional compensation.A difficult period in life, a tense social context, the news – all of this is exhausting. And the desire arises to give yourself and your loved ones a little joy, especially after a difficult year or a challenging period. It is this emotional compensation that often leads to a more frivolous attitude towards spending, says the psychologist.The second reason is the need to "properly" end the year. It's as if the generosity and scale of the holidays are meant to summarize all the efforts of the year, to become a reward for oneself. But such "indulgence" often creates additional tension and, instead of support, undermines financial stability.And, of course, social pressure. "Everyone else is doing it": for a week, two, or sometimes even a month, people actively buy everything they can. In this pursuit, an irresponsible spending strategy emerges – buying something "decent" to look no worse than others, to match the image from an advertisement, or to meet the expectations of their surroundings.How to cope with guilt or shame over more modest gifts or celebrationsAt different periods of life or in different social environments, feelings of shame or guilt may arise due to more modest gifts or celebrations. But it is worth starting with the main thing – with the recognition that your value as a person is not measured by the amount of the check or the cost of the gift, says Oksana Zinko:– What helps in such a situation? First of all, honestly admit your financial capabilities to yourself, and then gently and calmly discuss it with your loved ones. For example: This year, I can afford this format..It's important to remind ourselves that limitations are not a fault, but a reality of life that everyone faces in one way or another.It's also helpful to shift the focus from "cost" to content, because attention, time, and shared moments are also valuable gifts. These are the things that are remembered, don't break, don't lose value over time, and become truly priceless.And, of course, it's worth working on the belief that "expensive = good." This is not always true. A gift chosen with consideration for a person's individuality, their values, and your relationship can be modest in price but very meaningful in content.Strategies to help reduce financial stress and maintain a sense of celebrationFirst, it's worth setting a budget in advance or spreading it out over several months and clearly categorizing expenses, says the psychologist.Secondly, it's helpful to agree on the celebration format with loved ones in advance: a shared meal, symbolic gifts, and minimizing extra expenses. This relieves some of the tension even before preparations begin.It's very important to create your own traditions that don't require significant funds. This could be watching a movie together, summarizing the year in photos or notes, or a gratitude journal – things that have deep meaning but don't require a lot of expense.It's also important to limit information noise: fewer comparisons with others, less pressure from advertising and imposed scenarios. Instead, focus more on how I want.Sometimes, a simple walk with a cup of cocoa near home or a visit to a friend with homemade cookies can give a much greater sense of celebration than expensive purchases."And most importantly, remember: the idea of a holiday is not about money, but about context, warmth, and a sense of closeness. The most valuable things in life are not things," reminds Oksana Zinko.Read alsoChristmas in a special way: three festive customs that showcase the world's cultural traditions

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