"New Year is coming soon, and I don't want anything": how to create a festive mood and whether it's worth doing it at all

The holidays are on the doorstep, but inside there is emptiness or indifference. Does that sound familiar? We are used to thinking that "we must be happy," and when this does not happen, guilt, shame, and the feeling that something is wrong with us appear.Together with psychologist Zoya Sytnikova LIGA.net explains whether the lack of a festive mood is a normal reaction, what happens to the psyche during this period, and how to get through it without pressure and constant self-reproach.On holiday expectations and the emotional normFrom a psychological point of view, there is no need to feel euphoria or constant "charm" during the holidays, says Zoya Sitnikova:"It's more of a social construct and a collective expectation, actively reinforced by advertising, social media, and a culture with an unspoken rule: if there's a holiday on the calendar, your mood should match. However, emotions don't just switch on with the date."Holidays don't trigger a magical button of joy. Rather, they highlight the internal state with which a person enters them: fatigue, anxiety, loneliness, or, conversely, warmth and gratitude. Therefore, the absence of euphoria is not a sign of a "psychological breakdown," but a natural reaction, especially in conditions of prolonged stress, war, and emotional exhaustion.The pressure to "be happy" often works against a person: comparisons with others' images of happiness and guilt for one's own feelings arise.The psychological norm is to allow for different feelings. Calmness, neutrality, quiet concentration, or even sadness can be as authentic a way of experiencing the holiday as joy.Practical psychological techniques for gentle tuningLower the bar of expectations. Instead of asking, "How can I become joyful?" it's more helpful to ask, "How can I feel a little lighter today?" This reduces tension and allows the psyche to not be on the defensive.The technique of micro-joy. The focus is not on the whole day, but on one small pleasant moment: a warm drink, a favorite scent, silence, a slow walk.Grounding through the body. When tired, people often "live in their heads." Simple physical actions – a warm shower, gentle stretching, slow breathing, touching something soft and pleasant – bring back a sense of presence.The ritual of ending the year. A brief written summary: what was difficult, what you managed to endure, what you can thank yourself for. This is not about forced positivity, but about recognition – and it is this recognition that often opens up space for warmth.Contact instead of atmosphere. Live communication, even if it is short and imperfect, usually has a greater emotional effect than any decor.The psychological transition from work mode to holidaysEveryday stress and fatigue from work or routine often block the ability to feel festive, not because a person doesn't know how to be happy, but because they can't switch off from work mode.Chronic stress maintains a feeling of constant incompleteness: thoughts continue to revolve around tasks, responsibilities, and decisions, says Zoya Sitnikova.What helps create this psychological transition:A conscious ending, not an escape into the holidays. Take a few minutes to tell yourself, either in your mind or in writing: This year has been difficult, I've endured a lot, and now I'm closing it..Separation of roles. Even symbolically: change the space, clothes, schedule, or rhythm of the day. It is important for the psyche to feel that the role of "I work and am responsible" is temporarily inactive.Pause. We are used to jumping from deadlines straight into celebrations. But internally, we need a pause – a day or a few hours without tasks, meetings, and plans.Recognizing fatigue as the norm. As long as a person devalues their own fatigue, the festive mood does not come. When the phrase appears I'm really tired, and that's okay., the tension decreases, and the psyche begins to open up.The personal meaning of the holiday and its connection to values"The useful question to ask is not 'how to celebrate,' but 'why is this holiday important to me?' For some, it's about closeness, for others, it's about peace, for some, it's about summing up or inner quiet. And all these options are normal," explains the psychologist.What helps you find your meaning:Separating one's own from what is socially accepted. It is important to honestly examine which actions are performed out of inner desire, and which are performed out of inertia or a sense of duty.Formulating the core value. Not a to-do list, but a single state or word: warmth, gratitude, peace, closeness, hope. It is around this that the feeling of a holiday is built.One conscious action. One gesture that supports this value: a sincere conversation, silence, a letter to oneself, a shared dinner, or helping another. Festivity is born from meaning, not from the number of activities.Permission to be imperfect. When the idea of "how it should be" is let go, there is room for living, authentic emotions. True joy is often quiet and very personal.Holiday blues, loneliness, and protection from guiltThe holiday season often amplifies internal contrasts. Against a backdrop of general uplift, one's own loneliness, anxiety, or sadness can feel much more acute. This is a well-known psychological phenomenon, not a sign of weakness or ingratitude."Holiday blues" is a signal of inner needs that become more noticeable during a period of external noise and expectations.What will help you protect yourself psychologically:Refusal to be responsible for the mood. Emotions don't have to be "right." When a person stops fighting their condition, the intensity of the experience often decreases on its own.Normalization of experience. The thought "something is wrong with me" only reinforces isolation. In reality, many people find the holidays difficult – it's just not something people usually talk about.Limitations of comparisons. Social media doesn't show reality, but a showcase. Temporarily reducing contact with other people's "ideal holidays" is also a form of self-care.The focus is on support, not on fun. Holidays don't have to be joyful, but they can be supportive. Even one warm conversation or a feeling of connection with someone important can make a difference.Denial of guilt. Guilt over "not being in the right mood" doesn't create joy – it only takes away resources."Sometimes the healthiest holiday decision is not to change yourself, but to treat yourself with kindness. Because taking care of your own well-being is the greatest personal celebration," Zoya Sytnikova concludes.Read alsoHolidays without conflict: six phrases to stop criticism from a relative

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