How to cope with stress and irritability: advice from a psychologist

In everyday life, situations arise where stress prevails: whether it's worrying news, an unpleasant conversation at work or at home, it may seem that you have no control. The emotions this causes often linger for a long time, leaving behind anger, sadness, or irritation.

In such moments, psychotherapist and author Steven Stosny advises turning to what he calls "the three laws of personal power"This is reported by CNBC Make It.

These steps, he says, will help you support yourself when you are feeling down and calm yourself when you are feeling irritated.

1. Focus on what you can improve. While you can't always change the situation, you can always change your attitude towards it.

"If someone is very rude to me, I can't fix that," Stosny explains.

But you can look at the situation objectively: notice that the other person is upset and try to understand them. This can help you get over your irritation.

"If you can't improve the situation," says the psychologist, "you can improve your emotional response to it."

2. Think about the future, not the past. Negative emotions often cause us to recall all previous similar incidents, which only worsens the situation.

For example, you got angry and said something hurtful to your partner. In the heat of the moment, you think: "I really messed things up. Next time I'll be much more careful."

Next, you should analyze what exactly led you to say those words—internal and external factors—and make a plan on how to react differently next time.

Taking active steps and readjusting future responses helps to better regulate emotions. "You feel your confidence grow as soon as you start looking ahead," explains Stosny.

3. Broaden your perspective. When you get too fixated on the negative, it's worth taking a step back and thinking about what you can do right now.

Let's say you made an impulse purchase that you didn't really have the money for. Instead of wallowing in shame or self-disgust, you can ask yourself, "What will make the situation better? I can try to return the purchase," advises Stosny.

You can also decide to pay closer attention to your expenses and work on living within your means. This gives you more strength than constantly being angry or disappointed.

Ultimately, true strength is acting in your own long-term best interests, says Stosny. But protecting yourself while trapped in negative emotions is impossible.